Oh, you guys. If I have one piece of advice for ANY parents who have older children via adoption ESPECIALLY if the child came to you via foster care, it would be to Get This Book. It is a Diamond. The world NEEDS this book. The depth and resources and guidance this book provides is worth rubies.
“The book is written from the perspective of the child, who is often misunderstood or unheard. The child’s perspective gives adults a chance to hear what the child may want to say but may not know how to communicate.”
Below are pros and cons.
Pros: This book is written by three licensed health professionals and the intelligence and richness of this book is clear from the first page. Each page of this book addresses a different struggle. For example, your child may not want to hug, but they do need affection. Page 3 in the book opens up that conversation to help the parent determine what the child feels comfortable with. The parent can read page 3 to the child and start the conversation. There is also a correlating index in the back specifically for the issue addressed on page 3. The index equips and educated the parent on further details of that struggle and further education and activities to implement in your hope to build connection. That is just one of many examples and struggles represented which the book addresses.
Cons: There truly are none, and please trust that I would provide them.
There are some things I want a parent to consider. My suggestion to every parent that purchases this book is to read it before you read it to your child so that YOU as the parent are prepared for the conversation. This is not an easy breezy book, nor should it be. The is a life changing book and tackling trauma and emotional wounds head on.
This book is phenomenal.